The snowdrops are abundant and the grass verges are turning yellow as the daffodils begin to appear. Very soon it will be officially Spring.
So how about a Spring Offer! If you have been thinking for a while about seeking some counselling, now is the time!
Anyone who books a first session with me in March and pays upfront for 4 sessions will receive a discount of £30. 4 sessions will cost you £150 instead of £180. That’s got to be worth thinking about.
Anxiety Panic Phobias OCD
Depression Post Natal Depression Bi-Polar
Trauma Childhood Trauma PTSD
Relationship Issues Attachment Styles
Bereavement and Loss
Workplace Stress
Anger Management
Low Self-esteem
And much more!
Contact me for further information on how I can help you.
After the celebrations are over it can be daunting can’t it to look ahead to a new year. What’s in store for us all globally, nationally and personally? Trouble is looking ahead through our imaginary crystal balls is notoriously difficult – well let’s be honest impossible. What we really achieve by trying to predict the future is usually negative thoughts and emotions such as worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, panic and depression.
Grounding ourselves in the present, only allowing ourselves short term plans in our diaries or events that we know are likely to happen such as that summer holiday we have just booked.
We can do nothing about the past, we cannot live in the future – only the present. Another way of putting it is ‘do not worry about tomorrow because today’s troubles are enough for today’. Concentrate on what you can do today, experience its joys, its highs and lows and tackling one problem at a time, focusing, at least for some small part of each day, on taking time out to rest.
Only 4 days to go! Many of us are finishing work today but for many more the busyness will continue right up to Christmas Eve and for some they will be on duty all through the Christmas period.
Presents to buy, presents to wrap and deliver, meal planning, food shopping to endure and cooking prep to do, travelling to see relatives or preparing for visitors. Perhaps you have excited young children breaking up from school and of course you may have already attended school carol services/nativity plays.
Sounds exhausting doesn’t it and that’s because it usually is. Remember that the thing you have forgotten to get was probably not needed anyway and the children did not really need so many presents and so what if the meal is not perfect – will anyone really notice?
However, maybe you would give a lot to experience the above and that Christmas is not the busy family time, instead it brings a deepened sense of loneliness, anxiety or depression. What can you do to get through this period with any sense of well-being? Firstly lowering expectations of Christmas can help. Indulging yourself in self-care – what do you love to do? Doing something different perhaps such as volunteering with a charity who provide Christmas lunches for those in need. Maybe your neighbour would like some company and a shared meal. Maybe it is comfortable clothing on the sofa in front of the TV.
Take care everyone whatever Christmas will mean to you!
I am often asked the question ‘isn’t self-care just being selfish?’ I always answer ‘No!!!!’
It is that time of the year again when many of us have had a pretty exhausting couple of festive weeks, cooking, entertaining, shopping and looking after children etc and often we do all these things whilst struggling with winter colds and flu! Time to really focus on self-care to restore our energies and boost our sense of wellbeing and motivation for the start of the New Year.
Many of my clients are not used to focusing on self in a compassionate way, they think of it as selfish and self-indulgent. They should be putting others before themselves, shouldn’t they? Give and keep giving rather than receiving – that sounds much more noble and doable!
However, this belief comes unstuck quite quickly. If you have ever been on a plane and asked to watch the safety advice video, you will know that you are always told to put your own oxygen mask on first before that of a child or an elderly person. This is because if you have no oxygen, you cannot help that other person with their mask and both of you will perish.
Another familiar analogy is that of the glass full / glass empty. If we drain our own glass of water (energy), we do not have any to sustain us or to give away to others. A no win situation!
Where are these 2 analogies going you may ask? Well if we want to care for and give love and compassion to others, we must be able and willing to give it to ourselves first.
Are you your own best friend or worst enemy? Experiencing what it feels like to be kind to yourself can really help to uplift your own sense of esteem better appreciate the impact of showing kindness to others. So some important steps to better self-care include:
Knowing our own limitations and boundaries in terms of how much we can physically and mentally do at any given time and how much stress we can cope with.
Recognising when we are coming close to stepping over our boundaries and doing something to pull us back to a safe and comfortable place.
Practising daily the art of relaxation and anxiety busting techniques, creating personal time and space, taking up new activities, developing hobbies and pursuing enjoyable moments.
Reaching out to carefully chosen people who are ‘radiators’ not ‘drainers’, those who will support and nurture us from time to time. Knowing how to restore ourselves and top up our own glasses.
The result of better self-care? – being calmer, less tired and more relaxed and enabling ourselves to help others more, having more mental and physical energy and motivation. Being able to see a future for ourselves and our loved ones and learning to love life more, developing resilience when life gets tough.
So go on give it a go and focus on your own needs at least some of the time – work out a balance between giving and receiving and start to reap the benefits!
You have perhaps been struggling for some time, you are aware you might need some help, you don’t feel you can face your friends and/or family, you feel they may judge you as silly, weak or worse and won’t be able to or indeed won’t want to help you.
Your issues are scary, it is difficult to cope, you feel no-one will listen or understand and you feel isolated and desperate. Your work is suffering or maybe you can’t work at all and the impact on your life in all areas is huge. Where do I go next you may ask yourself?
You may have heard of therapy but that has always been something someone else does not you! You have never asked anyone for help and consider it a sign of weakness. That doesn’t seem like something you could possibly do and anyway what is it, what is the point and are you really suggesting I talk to a complete stranger – no thanks.
‘No somehow I will cope on my own and ‘pull myself together’ – I really don’t want anyone else to know I am in such a bad place’. However, gradually this plan begins to unravel and as a very last resort you consider seeking help – you begin to search the internet for someone called a counsellor – STEP 1.
‘Oh no there are lots of counsellors to choose from and they all seem to offer something different – how can I decide, it might be easier not to bother at all. I will put it off for a while longer – it’s much too confusing and even more scary! Trouble is I am still struggling badly’.
‘It’s no good I am just going to go for that one and hope for the best, they seem genuine and it does say they are experienced and qualified’ – STEP 2. ‘I will email them and see if they respond – I don’t feel up to speaking to them on the telephone yet as I don’t like using the phone much anyway – I am always too nervous’.
‘Oh they have replied and they are offering me an appointment – ignore the email, say no and hope they don’t keep pestering me – help! No I can make that date and time and really need to say yes but I feel so anxious – I don’t know if I am doing the right thing but know deep down that it is now or never. I will say yes as I think I am ready – give it a go, after all if I don’t like them, I don’t have to go twice!’ – STEP 3.
‘It’s the day and now I almost feel sick with nervousness but don’t really want to let the person down at the last minute. I am going but it is taking every bit of courage I can muster as I have no idea what to expect. Will I even be able to say anything? – I do hope this person understands what a big deal this whole thing is’. STEP 4.
‘Wow what a relief, first session over and it was much less scary than I had expected – I was actually smiling at the end and quite talkative – the counsellor made me feel really comfortable and I think I am going to continue. Finally after so long deliberating, I feel I have made the right decision to seek some help and hopefully improve my life a lot’.
Could this be You?? Can you take that first step?? I do hope so!
